I had no subject for today's blog post. I went completely blank. Even a perusal of my list of emergency backup subjects didn't give me anything I thought would work. So I did the most intelligent thing I could think of (insert your own smart remark here) and summoned my friend Naomi. If her name sounds familiar, it should; she's been mentioned in previous blog posts, as the Australian college student who stayed with me a few times during her study abroad session here in America, most notably for Thanksgiving.
Naomi is going to make up questions and I am going to answer them. This will constitute my first-ever vaguely interactive blog post, because I am writing it while the interview takes place over instant messenger. (Just to clarify that subject line, "the Blog Alchemist" is my unofficial rank in the Risembool Rangers.)
Naomi: So I will just fire questions randomly as they occur to me, then!
Laura: Exactly!
Naomi: What's your favorite thing about your hometown?
Laura: Well, I've lived here all my life, so I know where everything is. Oh, and my husband is here. But probably the coolest thing is that it's really close to everything without actually being in the middle of anything - it's a little town, but I have access to big cities and mountains and farms and all that.
Naomi: What are your top three video games, and why?
Laura: *thinking that this is slightly non-sequitir* My favorite game of all time is 'The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past,' mostly for nostalgia reasons; I played it when I was sixteen, solved every puzzle by myself, and it was long and challenging and I fell in love with the story. Every other Zelda game ever made would probably be tied for second place, because I love them all. And I don't know what would go in the third spot, because my addictions tend to revolve.
Naomi: Would you rather go without reading or writing?
Laura: No, not if I can help it.
Naomi: That's not what I meant.
Laura: I know, but it's my blog.
Naomi: The desert island question de riguer - you're stuck on a desert island for a year. Assuming you have a regular supply of food and a way of making a shelter, what book would you bring, what non-essential food item would you bring, and what other item would you bring?
Laura: Let's see. My book of choice would probably be my Jane Austen anthology, because I can read Pride and Prejudice at least once a week and not get sick of it. My non-essential food item would be chocolate chip cookies. And my other item - does Kevin count as an item? If not, it would have to be a supply of pens and notebooks.
Naomi: Congratulations, you just won a major prize! Your choices: have all of your bare essentials paid off for the rest of your life, or get something big, splashy, and luxurious that you'd probably never able to afford short of being the CEO of a major company. What do you choose?
Laura: The...first one.
Naomi: What were your three biggest influences growing up?
Laura: Positive or negative?
Naomi: Any.
Laura: Let's stick with the positive ones. That'd be my grandfather, my mother, and my high school journalism teacher, Mr. Stehman.
Naomi: Congratulations, you've just found yourself in Hyrule. What do you do now? Follow Link on his adventures, hang out in Castle Town, get harassed by cuccos...?
Laura: And this is why I ask a fellow nerd to interview me. Let me think. Which era of Hyrule am I in? Because that will radically influence my answer. If it's Twilight Princess Hyrule, I'll be in the library with Shad learning about the Oocca. But if it's the original game, then I want to borrow Link's raft and ride it over the waterfall. And if it's Link to the Past, I want to go into the Dark World and see what it would change me into. And...
Naomi: I get it. Moving on.
Laura: What?
Naomi: You've had a lot of interesting jobs in your life. Which has been your favourite, and what made it stand out?
Laura: Well, I've really enjoyed most of the jobs I've had, actually. Probably my favorite was the ten years I spent working for the Internal Revenue Service - no, I'm not kidding. It was a great job. It paid well, my coworkers were generally pleasant, I got to listen to audiobooks while I worked, and the benefits were terrific.
Naomi: You come home one day to find a package waiting for you. It contains that one thing you've always wanted. What's inside it?
Laura: My marbles!
Naomi: What does your dream home look like?
Laura: It's clean. And somebody else keeps it that way.
Naomi: That's ten. Should we stop?
Laura: Probably.
Naomi: You should do this once a month - have one of your friends interview you like this. It's fun!
Laura: Maybe I will! Let's see who volunteers.
Naomi: ...so is that it? How do you end a post like this?
Laura: You know, I don't know. Usually when I read interviews, they end with some kind of witty commentary.
Naomi: Can't you be witty?
Laura: If I could be witty at the drop of a hat, I wouldn't have needed you to interview me for the blog.
I AM AN INTERVIEWING GOD.
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